Fairy Poop

I haven't eaten in forever. So now the evil little fat-fairy has begun stalking me. She basically takes a shit and food drops in front of you... like magic.

At a cafe my best friend drops part of her sandwich onto the table in front of me. Claiming she cannot possibly eat the whole thing herself. Uh, no thanks. I do not eat food right off of a dirty table. Gross.

Screw it, I ate it anyways.

Then, that night, I was startled awake by a mouth full of vomit. I was confused so I fucking swallowed it (don't worry, it wasn't lumpy).

In the morning I woke up feeling so shitty. And I had the worst migraine of my life.

I am NEVER eating again. Fucking ever!

While other fairies spread their sweet fairy dust around... that evil bitch is spreading her FECES.  
Then tricking poor hungry girls into EATING it!

I know, drama queen much? Yep. I HATE BEING SICK!!! Unless I've just had a crazy wild x-rated evening, I do NOT want to wake up feeling hungover.

Mmm, I wish I had a yummy guy to cuddle up with. Sex is better than food anyways. Yup, even NOW I'm gonna complain about my lack of sex life.

Hey, just wait until I finally do bag a man! Every post will be about how great my sex life is. "blah blah... his chewy ass..."

Either way this blog is doomed.

xoxo,

zen