Big Fat Update?

Nope, just the short version... I've moved into a new place, been arrested, had sex a couple times (not in jail), quit my job, gained like 20 pounds and finally started exercising again, phew!

It's all good.

I will definitely have to elaborate later on. 

For now, here's a picture of a fat squirrel... 

LOVE YOU MUCH GUYS!!

xoxoxoxo,

zen

Rosie Hat

I barricaded myself in the apartment this weekend. Told my sisters not to call me unless grandmas hair was on fire. 

One afternoon one of the neighbors were being noisy, so I peeked out the window to spy on them. They were sitting on their balcony with their dirty little groupies, strumming their guitars, with there eyes closed and brows drawn. It's hilarious how seriously they take themselves. dorks. 

Turns out one reason I had been so depressed was because of PMS. So I had a fleeting affair with a Hershey bar. It was lovely while it lasted. Had no other food though, just drank tons of water all weekend. I lost 3lbs. 

Anti-social behavior is actually very therapeutic. I slept so much this weekend, I have tons of energy now. I'm like a squirrel on crack. 

I missed my sisters alot. Well, mostly the baby. She is so sweet and cuddly, I can't stop kissing her widdle face. 

The girls and I are getting a puppy! She is a pug. We will call her "Rosie Hat". My baby sister got to name her. We pick her up this weekend, so I'll post a picture as soon as we bring her home. I am sure the girls will have bought a bazillion pink clothes and shoes for her by then.

Glad to be back online! Gotta catch up on everyone's blogs today.

xoxo much luvs,

zen

Five little squirrels

Five little squirrels sitting in a tree.
The first one said, "What should we do?"
The second one said, "Find some nuts on the ground?"
The third one said, "Hey, did you hear zen lost three pounds today?"
The fourth one said, "That fucking hoe."
The fifth one said, "Lets go bite her ankles."
So they shook their tails and ran with glee.
To the skinny little bitch at the foot of the tree.

Ok, so I am not the best story-teller. Bite me.

Had girls night, watched a double feature... The Blind Side and The Crazies. Both are great movies. And had a Greek salad with several pieces of homemade bread...mmmm.

I was too scared to weigh-in yesterday, due to being naughty the night before. And was pretty nervous about getting on the fricken scale today too, but decided to stop being a pussy and find out how bad the damage was.

OMFG. I was not expecting loss. It has to be the drug. This never happens to me so close to a semi-binge. NEVER.

I have been sticking to only one meal a day. It does hurt. I feel the burn. I relish the thought of my yummy dinner. But lately, even when I am ravenous, I am actually able to eat that one meal in moderation.

I still have 30lbs to goal. OMG I almost feel like I can actually do this.
Love you guys... oh, and you too Topamax (smooches).


xoxo zen

Squirrel fight

In my family I am the oldest child. Middle child is 13 year old and youngest is almost 5. I catch middle child eating something chocolate in my kitchen. Oh mercy, she found CHOCOLATE in my kitchen!

I quickly grab the box. The little one spots us and darts toward me asking "What is that? What is that?" My sisters and I become wide eyed and jittery. It . was . so . on.

I run like hell down the hall making a quick left into the bathroom. As I lock the door, I hear her screaming. "I want one!! I want one!! Are you eating it in there? What are you eating in there? I want one!!"

Grrrreeeeeaaaat. My whole family knows I've just barricaded myself in the toilette to horde food. And that I may in-fact be eating it in there. OMG I am so gross.

These kinds of sibling rivalries used to be sort-of cute. But shit, I am a fucking grown up now. Hiding in the toilette, scarfing down something that I do not want to share...

NOT cute.

So I walked out and sweetly handed it to her. But her smile faded when she realized I had eaten the ENTIRE box.

xoxo zen