I Want a Pet Boy

Visiting a friend and her snotty little cat. My dumb dog spends her entire day barking at it, gets smacked in face repeatedly (with claws), then barks even louder. Idiot.

And cats REALLY know how to give the evil eye!

My dog requires a ton of attention, gets her feelings hurt if I do not let her sit by (or on) me and whines the entire time I'm gone from the house.

Her cat will purr quietly and make you feel special when she chooses to give you attention (which is rare). Then kick your ass if she wants to be left alone.

Based on my highly scientific research... One could hypothesize:
Cat people prefer casual slutty relationships and are basically evil.
Dog people prefer very close relationships thus eventually converting others into cat people.

Me? I prefer a caged boy.

xoxo zen (kinky bitch)

*EDIT* Kelly, if I had your dog, it would eat the cat... problem solved!  
And finally new post at zen thinspo "Winged Creatures"

PERSONAL stuff you must know

Thank you my lovelies, Violet, Ell, Luna, Lund3on, and the beautiful Madz who started it all... HERE. I wish I could give one back to each of you, as punishment for making me do all this work.

Things I LOATH:

1) Feet They are gross, fungus laden, sweaty, and toenails can even cut you. Yet there are some freaky people that like to suck on them. Keep your feet the hell away from me when I'm eating or I will stab you with my fork.

2) Haters Angry people are toxic. They annoy me. I don't hate them.
I just really really really fucking dislike them, and sometimes want to punch them in the face.

3) Dicks who ignore wildlife while driving There will be a bunch of pigeons on the road and they plow right through. I'd love to see one of those assholes in a crosswalk... oopsie, sorry dude, thought you'd scurry away faster than that.

Things I LOVE:

1. Tailgaters I like to tap my brakes to scare the shit out of them. Sometimes I slow waaaay down for them. I could drive for miles at a snails pace. Oh so fun. *snicker*

2. Jason Statham...

...is a HOT as fuck! Num num num.

3. I guess I should also include my dog, but honestly, she still grosses me out with all her slobbery ass chewing.

4. The Moon I have always been in love with it. A harvest moon is my favorite.

Winners... If you already got one, just pass it along. This helps us all discover other interesting bloggers.

MaryJane - My sexy little foul mouthed vixen. You totally speak my language. I would love to see your answers to this quiz.

Margg - Such an awesome mind. I'd curse a lot less if I were even a fraction as articulate as you... But I gotta work with what I've got. You're writing is beautiful love.

Kelly  - You deserve the shit out of this. I saw this show last night, and hot damn this chic is KICK-ASS. She immediately reminded me of you. Can't wait till you get your tat!

xoxo,

zen

Cheer Boys, and Fat Dogs

My sister has been dating a jealous controlling verbally abusive shit-brained football player. I kept finding reasons to ground her so she couldn't be alone with him. I warned him that if he hurt my sister, I could make his death look like an accident. 

Last week she finally dumped him for a HOT guy on her varsity cheerleading team.  Her ex isn't even jealous because he assumes this new dude is a "fag". Whatever makes you feel better, fucking idiot.

Cheer boy is coming over to watch a "Bring It On" movie marathon with her Friday night (yeah, those movies are a bit gay). He asked her if I would get pissed if he kissed her. She told him I was like ceiling cat... even if they didn't see me in the room, as soon as he touched her, I would drop down like a ninja.

Ha. Good girl.

Our dog is lovingly referred to as Assface now. Although she no longer chews her butt, the tarnished image remains. Sorry babe, it's like a Highschool rep... you will NEVER live it down.

Dog's and their owners really do reflect each other though. No, I cannot chew my own ass. Although it would be interesting to be that flexible... anyways... I always admire those people with fluffy little dogs that probably lose 3/4 of their mass when wet.

Ours is short, stocky, and meaty. I feel fat when walking her. I want to hurry up and get indoors before anyone see's us. Poor Assface. My ana mindset extends to the dog now.

xoxo

zen

Got Fleas

Rosie Hat is disgusting. 

She has fleas. Apparently she is just too retarded to handle it.

I have sprayed the floors, bathed the dog, put that gel stuff on her back...

REtreated the apartment, REbathed the dog, put more of that gel on her back (about 4 times now). 

Yet she still chews her ass. Constantly. Feverishly. NONstop. 

She is a pug and unfortunately she has the issue of snorting snoring spitting spraying and slobbering. When she chews on her ass, it sounds wet and sloppy like she is eating a big piece of raw meat.
I want to kick her. 

She sits at my feet to chew her ass. She sits on the couch to chew her ass. She sits on my pillow to chew her ass. I have to turn on the radio to sleep because her ass-chewing is so loud. 

I no longer look at her cute ears bouncing along as she trots around the house. I look at her butt hole. Yes. I only see a walking ass... the nasty ass that she chews on 24 hours a day. I don't want a dog anymore.

Oh and I've been eating, NONstop, like a fucking cow. It's Rosie's fault.

xoxo zen

johnstonbee, I'll reply to your tag questions next post...been thinking of fun answers for ya.

Rattie Heaven

Rest In Peace Piggy

Piggy was a sweet cuddly hairless rat. The only hairs he did have were his curly little whiskers. It felt like a tiny little cat tongue when he licked my fingers. He was so fricken awesome.

My heart is broken.

le pooch

She arrived yesterday... we took her with us for a huge puppy-supply shopping spree.  

Last night she slept on me, ON me. I couldn't even roll over. I had a 5 ton unconscious fur-ball on my legs.

She snores like an old man.

She barks at everything. Today we watched "cats and dogs" with her (yes, she watches TV). It has barking dogs in it, she went bonkers.

She sounds congested, like she's constantly growling. Her snorts make us laugh, especially when it is accompanied by a spray of spittle.

We cannot WAIT to paint her toe nails!

We are absolutely in love with our Rosie Hat and her wet kisses.

xoxo,

zen