P!nk - F*ckin' Perfect

I am so in love with this woman and her music.
This video blew me away. Bullseye!

((hugs))

zen

Dick Speak

My stomach shriveled up after the 3 day baby food cleanse. I wasn't hungry, so I didn't eat for the next week. Despite the fact that I went out for drinks on girls night, I am still calling this a fast. 

I lost a total of 10lbs, gained back 2lbs post fast (it's really just pre-poo) Total loss = 8lbs Woot!!

Unfortunately I only seem to be capable of talking about ONE thing when drinking on an empty stomach. Can you guess what it is??

PENIS
It doesn't seem to have anything to do with simply being drunk though. I can become completely wasted and still have a great cock-free conversation, as long as I have food in my tummy.

As I told you in another post, I spent one fun evening eating and getting drunk with a homeless man. And I can assure you, I did not bring up the subject of his penis even once.

But give me a couple beers on a fasting tummy and all that comes out of my mouth is dick speak.

So a couple drinks (during this fast) led to the usual flirting, then asking a boy about his penis size, challenging him to prove it by whipping it out RIGHT there, and eventually mocking him for being too much of a pussy to do it.

Needless to say, I did not get laid that night. Hmmm. Perhaps I should reevaluate my approach?

Ah, well... despite my wicked ways, the scale goddess saw fit to FINALLY bless me with 120 pounds. Next goal is 110 baby!

Oh, and my ultimate goal is to finally have sex again before it just doesn't fucking matter anymore how thin I am.

Hey! It's the Penis Song!

xoxo, zen

I Dream of Being a Fat Ass

For the past few weeks I have been having "FAT" dreams.

I'm always NAKED too. It's ridiculous.

I'll get so enormous I cannot squeeze through doorways or fit into cars. I'm this butt-ass naked person running frantically around, trying like hell to find somewhere to hide.

And I usually have to pee.

I can never seem to find anything to cover up with. There are no fucking clothes anywhere. So I hold my hands over my boobs and vajajay. A lot of good that does with an enormous booty bouncing around as I run.

What pisses me off is that I am becoming seriously deprived of my sex dreams. Even if I hide under the covers, I can't get away with pouncing on a hot dude without him noticing my blubber oozing all over the place. Fucking imaginary guys are turned off by me!

Stupid subconscious. Ruining the only chance I have to get properly laid.

xoxo zen

Drunkorexia

Well, as I slept, those extra 2lbs snuck out like a slutty one night stand.
The next day I fasted like a good girl.

Plus I found some rice-wine in my fridge so I decided to allow myself one cup as a reward... mmm it was so nice and warm in my tummy.

Unfortunately drinking sake on an empty stomach leads to typing shit like this...

----------------------

Plan:

Sun - sake fast

Mon - sake fast

Tue - sake fast

Wed - sake fast

Thu - sake fast

Fri - sake fast

Sat - sake fast

----------------------

I think I'll make a few adjustments to that now that I'm a bit more clear headed.

I'm feeling a bit low on my curse word count today, so take it from here Sue Simmons...

Much luv girlies,

xoxo zen

Topamax Dosage Doubled

Am doing my fucking happy dance!!!!!!!
Not quite as cutely as him of course.

zen

Poor twiggy

Fat people are not the only ones fun to watch FAIL.

I've always enjoyed this clip!

xoxo zen

Poor piggy

What the hell is wrong with me... 
I can't fucking stop laughing!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Happy Birthday walking!