woof

 

xoxo zen

Oh F*ck Me - PREMATURE AGING!

I am getting grey hair.... NO correction, they are white! I pluck them daily, but that just seems to piss them off and they grow back faster. Plus they are multiplying at an incredible rate.

I know people joke about raising kids giving you grey hair. 

But SERIOUSLY?!

I'm raising my sister and baby, so they are TWICE as irritating as normal children.

What is next? Menopause?! Been having horrible cramps this month... that's probably how it starts.

Fuck it - I don't care if my uterus falls out. I just wanna look young again!

Wrinkles, I've noticed wrinkles too! Oh. My. God. If my teen sister has a kid, I will look like it's grandma! That slut better be using condoms!

Love you ladies... stay youthful, kay?

xoxo,

zen

Big Fat Update?

Nope, just the short version... I've moved into a new place, been arrested, had sex a couple times (not in jail), quit my job, gained like 20 pounds and finally started exercising again, phew!

It's all good.

I will definitely have to elaborate later on. 

For now, here's a picture of a fat squirrel... 

LOVE YOU MUCH GUYS!!

xoxoxoxo,

zen

Am back... for real... have so much to tell you. It's already dawn and I haven't slept yet, will give you lovelies an update after my nap ♥

Miss you much,
zen

April Fools Day Dudes!

Smooches,

zen