Monday, August 02, 2010

Lascivious text?


I love a good game of dirty talk. This boy doesn't know how to play.

And he seriously typed *blink*.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean anyway? Is that the way douche-bags *wink*? Or was he indicating for me to type my address so we can get-it-on already?

He aint getting any.

Pretty much sums up my personal life right now. Blah. In need of more alcohol and new batteries for my electronic boyfriend.

Found out that my teen sisters "sleep overs" at girlfriends houses were actually just a bullshit way to sneak out to wild parties. The kind I used to go to at her age. The kind she is NOT allowed to be going to. That lil skank is grounded for life.

So what if I am a hypocrite? I get a twisted pleasure out of watching her pout.

I really don't know what to do with her. Maybe she just needs to be put in a convent. Then I can finally get out and have some fun.

I do remember being her age. Those were some crazy times. And I didn't have a bitchy older sister to ruin all the fun.

Ooh, I finally set up a Facebook account... feel free to add me!


Muchas gracias for the yummy joke Hollow.


  1. Now you got me horny :/ haha :]
    Hope this guy of yours starts doin work!

    My lil sis is a skank too...let's hook them up, they can take over the world together.

    lilah ;]

  2. haha thats great. god that guy is about as subtle as a flying brick. i swear guys nowadays have zero game when it comes to flirting. its either they dont put any effort into it or they use the worst pick up lines. i once had a guy come up to me ask if he could "touch my belly button ...from the inside".
    .charming, no?
    and im sooo freaking glad i didnt have a daughter. i dont think i could handle it if she turned all skanky like i did when i was young....just thinking about my son growing up into a teenager makes me want to lock him away in the cellar till he's thirty.
    stay strong

  3. aw, I loved being a skank at 14. I miss those days.. before bills, and drama, and work, and college, and life, and drugs, and fat, and ghetto as fucking neighbors that never shut the fuck up!

    :: yells out of front gate::


  4. silly boys.

  5. Aw. You poor dear.
    I know what that's like.
    You gots facebook?
    Mind if I add you? :]

  6. K so... I totally had a fat ass-ed, disgusting, period fucked, dip shitted, stupid, retarded, nasty, fucked up, BINGE!

    - Blueberry scone [fail]
    - cheese danish.. well, half [fail]
    -egg salad low fat sandwich.. whole grain bread BUT STILL!!! [fail] and that's it.. UGH!!! I was good all fucking day until 9:30 .. my manager made me clean out the fucking pastry case and I went all fat crazed as soon as I left.. It was like I hid the pastris I took home even though I'm allowed to take them, and had a feast on the bench outside.. UGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so good .. FAIL FAIL FAIL. I hate my fucking period. I hope tomorrow calls for better things.. I think I'm gonna punch myself in the gut if I put anything solid in my mouth! I think I'll salt water flush it and take a major shit and then drink a shit ton of water. I like your suggestion best.. fasting during your period! That's the best idea EVER! Thank you.. Too bad I got the great advice AFTER I came home.

    And that other that commented kinda pissed me off cuz she told me the baby food diet was a waste of money.. What a dumb shit. [67 cents is cheap!] ANYWAY enough of my sorrow blabber! Take care, girl! and thanks for the advice!

  7. Thank you honey! It's actually not my favourite colour, I'm a staunch lover of purple. But I always have purple nails, or red nails, so I thought I'd go for a novelty colour. But now I think it's awesome, and I plan to keep it. Your apt sounds MARVELLOUS, I love an interestingly decorated flat, I've already mentally decorated the flat I plan to move into eventually :D

    Also, yay! You used my joke! I'm so proud :)


  8. Hahaha that boy is not the sexed up kinda guy you need *blink* from the sounds of things *blink blink*.
    How old's your sister? I'm such a hypocrite with my younger brother, about all the things I was doing when I was even younger than him, drinking, smoking pot, getting my pre-skank on hshaha. But the telling off has to be done. Hope your well babe xx

  9. It wasn't even my vodka, I don't really know whose it is :D I just found it in the cupboard and went for the bottle like it was filled with water and I was in the desert. Teehee.

    But you are indeed correct, vodka is delicious served ice cold.

  10. OMG! I hit a new LOW!!! I was 168 when I talked to you last I think.. now I'm 163.2! I hit a new low! OMG! I'm so fucking happy. I'm closer to 160 which is closer to 150 and so on.. You're an awesome advice giver!!I drank a shit ton of water and didn't weigh myself for like 2 or 3 days only to see that shit on the scale! OMG! I'm so fucking happy. I can't wait to fit a fucking 0.

  11. Wooo Facebook! I totally just added you :) I don't have a little sister, but if I did and she did some of the stuff I did when I was in middle and high school, man oh man, she would get a talking to! It's such a double standard but I wouldn't be able to help myself, either!

    Who writes *blink*? Lame!

  12. haha oh dear.
    what the fuck, seriously.

    fantastic dearest.

  13. Convent? Do you know the one meat a priest can eat during lent? Answer: Nun.

  14. That's exactly what I thought about Tara! Maybe it's all the alcohol? I don't really know... she's just not looking hot to me anymore :/
    But yes, Paris does hold herself together quite nicely :D

  15. Lots of potty talk in my latest blog post and in the comment section regard skinny women and fat girls. Also, fat boys as lovers vs lean men in comment section.

    We discuss the cleanliness of skinny girls vs the yeasty maws of fat girls who can't wash their horrible hamlike hineys.

    I was going to set up a face book account but I, Fat Bastard am a meat face and the fat phobic techies won't create a Meat Face Book. Hell, I'd even settle for an Eat Face Book.

  16. The latest BFB article is some of the best potty talk you'll find anywhere.

    If you ever wondered how fatties wipe their butts bigger fatter blog has the scoop on the poop.

  17. I'm back. I've missed you.

  18. Laughed so hard, a little bit of wee came out.

  19. hey girl, missing your posts. hope your doing okay.
    stay strong

  20. Bitch, get back here and update your damn blog.

    Missing you :(

  21. The difference between a microwave oven and anal sex is that a microwave oven won't brown your meat.

    Write more shit you hot skinny bitch!


Use foul language if you love me...