Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Brain = Good

I missed you guys! Topa the WONDER DRUG,  turned my brain to utter shit. My inability to grasp words was unbelievable. I could not complete the simplest thoughts.

"Uhhh...." was practically every word out of my mouth. And so was fuck. I said fuck a lot, just to fill in the gaps.

When I said something incoherent, friends would just laugh and say "awww zen".... I guess they thought it was so cute, my being partially brain dead and all. 


I tried for the longest time to rationalize it. Besides, I still had my looks. Maybe I could just be an airhead... why not? My sister is one, and guys think she's adorable.

Unfortunately, being adorable didn't work for me. When I'd open my mouth to speak, people thought I was retarded. An adorable little retard.

I stopped taking Topa last week. Recuperation is officially underway. I can already feel my snark and wit slowly emerging.

Sadly though, my sensation of hunger has returned and I no longer have any food aversion. The free ride is over...  I'm back to actually putting an effort into losing weight.

I've finally accepted the dreaded fact, that the ability to form complete sentences must take precedent over my lovely Topa.

Apparently, having an IQ is a necessity. Not fair.

xoxo,
zen

16 comments:

  1. I missed you sooooooooooooooooooo much. What's new over on your end? How is your sister and her shenanigans? And your shenanigans? Please tell me there have been cheeky shenanigans.


    My drugs give me the dumb, too. I also quit them temporarily. Why must all good things kill braincells? Sigh.

    <3MJ

    ReplyDelete
  2. whooooo too bad
    but I totally understand. I know someone from work who's on Topamax and hey, you can tell she is on something!

    Hope you'll get back posting new adventures soon!

    Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. unfortunately, having an IQ is actually important.
    haha.

    glad your brain is beginning to function again :)
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. intelligent women are automatically more beautiful than any retard (no matter how pretty). thats my opinion at least.
    glad your back :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha, this is so cute. xD

    ReplyDelete
  6. Glad your baccckkk!!!
    Dude Tard Brain sound rough! Lately I've been forgetting things a lot (i'm blaming all the smoking haha)so I know what you mean...sort of.

    Anywho, I'm pumped your back. OH! And now everytime I pass baby food at a store I can't help but think about that baby food diet you did. 'preciate that!

    -Scarlett

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm really glad you're back, but it's pretty disappointing to know that Topamax sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  8. YAY! You're back, awesome! :D
    And with a functioning brain hehe, I missed your snark and wit and sisterly affections.
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm SO glad you're back! Your wit and humor and snarkiness definitely win out over Topa. Besides, your strong enough without it :) xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'd rather have you bitchin' than being a doorstop, anyday! :p

    ReplyDelete
  11. fuck it's good to see a post from you! missed you and I'm thrilled you are finding your brain again :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Gah. Damn IQ(:

    You're a fantastic writer, by the way!

    ReplyDelete
  13. thank god your alive! i was having withdraws from your sarcasm and wit.
    thanks for commenting on my blog,this boy is lucky hes so fuckable or id write him off for sure. :P

    meg

    ReplyDelete
  14. Miss you, girly. I totally feel you on the Topa. I haven't taken it regularly for about a month (though I have taken it a few random times in desperation, thinking that it would help me stop all this fucking bingeing...) and though my hair is still thinning slightly, I like to think I can see a slight improvement since I stopped taking that damned drug. I still...God...I still want to take SOMEthing to help me with this. It's gotten out of control. I'm SO fat, Zen. So fat. I've gained back nearly everything I lost on the Topa. It's horrible. I can't figure out how to get back to where I was before with my restriction. Ugh. Sorry for the downer...Mostly wanted to say that I missed you desperately, and it's good to read stuff from you.

    :*

    ReplyDelete
  15. Same thing with me and the topa :( also i was basically exhausted all the time...and i could no longer rationalize spending money on it cause i was broke.

    it was nice not feeling hunger and everything, but in all honesty, i'm kind of glad to be back to just regular old effortful starvation. feels like you're working at it, feels more real. ah i really sound so fucked up right there, sorry!

    glad you're back, so am i, missed this place!

    ReplyDelete

Use foul language if you love me...