Well slap me thrice and hand me to my mama.

The baby food diet is frigging adorable. Three days of the cleanse, lost 7lbs. Woot! Fuck you fad-diet haters.

I rarely eat any fruit or veggies. I'm like a bratty toddler. So baby food sounded pretty befitting my mental maturity. I can just grab one out of the fridge, it's already portion controlled, and the little smiley pictures on the containers make me happy.

Yes, I am using a big-girl spoon.

Why do babies always make that blech face when you try to feed them the veggies? If you pick up a mixture of peas carrots and tomatoes, its like a mushy casserole. It's delicious! Stupid babies.

Just shared an apple vanilla granola with my curious sister. She had asked wtf I was eating it for, told her it was baby food for grown ups.  She believed me.

So I have 2-3 containers 80 cal each, daily. Not bad for a cleansing fast. I also drink 8 oz water before and after. My goal is to do this for one week. Or until I hit a goal weightloss of 10lbs.

One concern... poo's are no longer solid. Have become a bit on the softer side. Hope shart's don't follow. Am too big for diapers.

Here's Abby kershaw sucking down a pouch of Ella’s broccoli pear + peas baby food. Doesn't she make it look so cute? And sexy as shit!

Found info on a very cool website Skinnygossip.com. Thanks Lund3on!

xoxo's

zen

I was bad, and I liked it

I ate more than usual yesterday. Something snapped. Well more like succumbed, happily obliged, submitted? Eh, that just sounds slutty. I didn't feverishly stuff my face, I simply ate and got sum pleasure out of it, rawr. wink wink.

So I had a croissant in the morning. And a tofurky sandwich for brunch. Then was craving pancakes for dinner, but we were all out of syrup, whew, disaster averted.

Couldn't drink the "ass" beer though. Fuck! Maybe someday they will come out with an "ass-lite".

Felt a slight twinge of guilt cause I am still a fat as hell. Since I haven't really eaten in over a month, I figured I'd avoid the scale today. Forgive(ish) and forget(ish). But I still feel guilty, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here at my internet confessional.

Oh, and had my first real poo in a month too. So I guess this binge went straight through me. That's good, right? For some reason? Gotta be something good about that? Somehow? Whatever.

xoxo,

zen

EDIT...
I decided to hop on the scale.
Did not gain an ounce.
Fucking awesome.
Oh topa, you havn't failed me yet, smooches.

Butt Plugs

Ok so sorry I haven't been posting daily like usual, constant state of  brain fart. Being a guardian is exhausting.

These brats have knocked my system out of whack. Now I feel jet lagged all the time. Like I am constantly in another time zone from them, and they completely take advantage of it. 

"Did you just take that money out of my purse?!"... "Huh uh no you gave it to me yesterday." Yesterday for ME, was 5 minutes ago for HER, as she slipped her little fingers into my purse without asking. Little shit.

It's probably how moms feel. I've just gotta grow some balls and adjust. Or have myself committed. They don't have alcohol in loony bins, but I bet they do have kick-ass drugs.

So, I have been using Dulcolax as my choice of laxies.  It's funny though, because they really like to brag about how powerful they are... thus my assexplosions and expensive pantie budget.

Well, here is a guide based on your dosage 1, 2 or 3 tablets... eg (light, med, or heavy flow) to avoid accidents in public.

Viola! No more sharting! 

xoxo zen