Monday, February 28, 2011

Fire Starter

I love the yummy smell of wood burning in the morning. 

As I walked baby to school, we discovered a small fire in the foliage by a tree. Someone probably dropped a cig while driving by. 

I told her to stay there while I went and kicked some dirt over it. No prob...  or so I thought.

She was terrified. Why did you do that?! It could have exploded!

I tried to explain that it was just embers. Not a fire. That I just smothered it. "Smother?"  Like stamped it out. "What?" Stomped on it, killed it, dead, no more fire.
 "Was it yellow?"

We continued walking. In the back ground I heard sirens, I smiled at the irony.

Was not funny when they came closer and started circling the area. OMG they are looking for a fucking brush fire. 

"See? You shouldn't have done that with the fire. You could have gotten hurt. It was bad to ...blah blah blah..."

Eyebrows were raising.

She made it sound like I fricken started the fire. I kept trying to explain that everything was ok. But she wouldn't shut the fuck up. So I snapped "WILL YOU STOP IT?!"

Right in front of sexy tattoo'd FILF. Yup.

I smiled like a cheshire cat. Not only am I a pyromaniac, but I am bad mommy potential as well.

On the bright side, it could have been worse... atleast I didn't smack her upside the head.


Friday, February 18, 2011

P!nk - F*ckin' Perfect

I am so in love with this woman and her music.
This video blew me away. Bullseye!


Thursday, February 03, 2011

Motivational Quote Of The Fricken Day

While walking home from a cafĂ© with baby yesterday, we ran into a friend of hers. As the tots hugged and chatted I scoped out dad. He was HOT.  I could feel my boobs flush when he smiled at me.

As we continued our walk home, baby told me her friend only stays part-time with dad. Mmmm single. I mentioned that he was cute, just in case she wanted to toss that info out there next time she talked to her little friend.

She told me that her friend's mom was real skinny... like I used to be. hmph. Ok, so maybe I have gained a bit of weight, but I am exercising.

"Well, I am getting skinnier and skinnier every day" I said.
She glanced at me then replied "And fatter and fatter every night".

Ha ha. What?!

Oooh, game on shithead. I'll show you results.