I ate more than usual yesterday. Something snapped. Well more like succumbed, happily obliged, submitted? Eh, that just sounds slutty. I didn't feverishly stuff my face, I simply ate and got sum pleasure out of it, rawr. wink wink.
So I had a croissant in the morning. And a tofurky sandwich for brunch. Then was craving pancakes for dinner, but we were all out of syrup, whew, disaster averted.
Couldn't drink the "ass" beer though. Fuck! Maybe someday they will come out with an "ass-lite".
Couldn't drink the "ass" beer though. Fuck! Maybe someday they will come out with an "ass-lite".
Felt a slight twinge of guilt cause I am still a fat as hell. Since I haven't really eaten in over a month, I figured I'd avoid the scale today. Forgive(ish) and forget(ish). But I still feel guilty, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here at my internet confessional.
Oh, and had my first real poo in a month too. So I guess this binge went straight through me. That's good, right? For some reason? Gotta be something good about that? Somehow? Whatever.
xoxo,
zen
EDIT...
I decided to hop on the scale.
Did not gain an ounce.
Fucking awesome.
Oh topa, you havn't failed me yet, smooches.
EDIT...
I decided to hop on the scale.
Did not gain an ounce.
Fucking awesome.
Oh topa, you havn't failed me yet, smooches.
I feel better when I come on here after a binge and confess, wierd but true. xo
ReplyDeleteyeah me too. it's like you can get it out and it's people who understand that read it.
ReplyDeleteI know how that goes.
I just had a salad and almost felt guilty. (I know doesn't seem like something to be upset about but I didn't want to eat anything today) but I put to much apple cider vinegar on and now my stomach is burning so bad. Love it, tasted good and punished myself all in one go.
Yay for vinegar.
but don't beat yourself up...your resolve is back!!! Oh and you pooed which means you got rid of something!
Stay strong
muah
Congratulations on your BM! I would recommend fiber pills and or powder to keep them a little more regular. I've honestly been toying with having a colon cleanse. You often lose a couple pounds (water, stool weight but who cares) and it cleans your intestines right out! Faster and more efficient and hopefully safer than laxatives?
ReplyDeleteAnd don't beat yourself up about the food.. eventually our bodies force our minds to give us what they need, it's bound to happen. :)
I love you! Your always talking about your ass and your shit!
ReplyDeletei binge and confess too, don't know why - it's not like i'm gonna get thin by doing that but i do it. feels slightly bit better, u know lol.
ReplyDeletebut that's awesome that u didn't gain an ounce. dammmmn nice :) /xo
So I meant to ask you...Now that your dose is so much higher...does all of your food taste like crud? Or just certain things? And is your appetite like, all the way gone? I've got it in my head that things will get much better when I get up to like 200 mg or so.
ReplyDeleteHaha, so ya this made my hour, for now at least. I will no longer be affraid to confess.
ReplyDelete<3's
-K
Awwww. Puppies are lovely. But paint their toenails? What an idea. Haha. Take pictures, yeah? Looks cute on the photos. Not at all like a 5 ton moster :D Hey you could just use her as a pillow.
ReplyDeleteIt’s nice to hear that you’ve eaten. And not gained a pound. At the same time I hate you. But you already know that. No really, it’s probably a nice change for your body to get something to do. Oh come on, I simply cannot believe that you can’t see a skinny girl in your mirror. I mean you’re like Mynameismellon was last year, you’re like the biggest loser these days. You MUST be able to see it. I think you’re just lying to yourself.
By the way, noooothing made me feel dirty, neither the scratches nor the comments :D But I just couldn’t resist hopping into the shower and make my new skinny body as clean as possible. Yep. Haha. Silly, isn’t it? :D
Thank you, I do hate these holidays that revolve around food!
ReplyDeletePug!!!!!!!!!! ! Too cute. I love your candidness. I want your topamax, but amazingly chilling with dudes I like have the same effect as topamax. I'm secretly afriad that as soon as it ends, I will eat like a horse.
ReplyDelete