Saturday, April 24, 2010

Post Fast FAIL

I was little miss "snooty pants" after losing so much weight on my fast. Thought I was hot shit. Pffft.
Yesterday we got together with some friends for lunch. They made a bunch of vegetarian food for my sisters and I. It was so sweet of them. Assholes.

My eyes rolled back in my head like a shark as I took a bite into a scrumptious veggie burger. It was orgasmic. Had 3 more orgasms after that.

One of my sisters caught me the kitchen stuffing even more food in my mouth. She just stared at me with a bemused look on her face. "What?!" I asked, trying to act all nonchalant.

This morning, I ballooned up 3 fucking pounds!
I promptly removed those veggie chefs from my friends list on Facebook, no more luncheon invites from them. 

I gotta poop! Tonight, I am sending all these turd babies to laxie hell. Problem solved. 

Okay, taking my "snooty pants" off now.

xoxo zen


  1. Tomorrow will be a better day!

  2. Oh man the same happened to me too. I ate burgers and chocolate and I LOST WEIGHT! So I ate MORE chocolate the next day, thinking I'd discovered it: The secret to dieting is to eat chocolate! Brilliant! Still nothing on the scales. Then I fasted a day. Then TODAY I gained on the scales. Wtf?? I got too fucking confident, that's what happened.

    I wish I had laxies :( I've developed major laxie tolerance and am going through max strength packs far too quickly. I can't face the girl in the local pharmacy. She must think I have MAJOR problems in the poo department. I'm too lazy to walk any further. Damn.

    I hope you expel those nasty pounds from your body at full force! Mmm there's an image. xx

  3. It's just the sudden food your body is holding onto, I'm sure. It will come off, especially with some laxies.

    I hate when people make food specifically for me. It makes it much more difficult to refuse it.

  4. I'm sure it will come off easily. You only ate that one day, after all. So no worries =)

  5. You could have done WAY worse than a veggie burger. I'm sure if you do an extra workout and take some laxies, you'll take it off in a couple days. :)


  6. that shit, haha, is good as gone. hubrus, it can get the best of us sometimes.

  7. Stupid good cooks and their stupidly delicious veggie burgers being so stupidly tempting!
    Oh for the love of laxies ;)

  8. hahah veggie chefs. burgers, meat or veggies, are still calories i guess. god, i'm on laxies right now too. i really, really, really hope i'm going to drink water/diet soda only tomorrow... i'm planning on going on this pseudo (fake) liquid fast. i hope i can do it. i just need to smack myself in the morning if i ever go for something. /xo

  9. I'm not getting the party balloons out just yet. My body loves to mess with my head and yo-yo me up and down. No doubt I'll be 114 again tomorrow, but I'll ignore it until I'm back down to a number I like again haha.

    Hmmm I don't think I have faith in my ability to have a natural BM anymore, what with the almost continual absence of solid foods in my diet and any that sneak their way way in are expelled with laxies. Speaking of laxies, how is that working out for you? Got rid of those sneaky extra pounds?

    As for your other comment, I fear I too am a bitter hag. I don't really want a relationship. In fact I pretty much believe monogamy is bullshit. I blame my evolutionary psychology course for making me think it's unnatural and a false ideal. How's that for romantic? Still doesn't stop me moping over unattainable crappy boys though...

    You too are lovely my dear!! Your comments cheer me up no end :) xx

  10. "I promptly removed those veggie chefs from my friends list on Facebook, no more luncheon invites from them."

    I ♥ you

  11. i wish laxies actually still worked for mee and wtf is with that word, laxies, it makes them sound cute...they are not cute! Ick.

    Anywhoo, about baked goods...just chew gum while you bake or cook, it works a treat. Seriously, not much tastes good when combined with spearmint. Plus if you bake things which you don't like but smell good them you can just sit and sniff while the rest of the family gourge themselves. I am well practised in this department, it use to creep them all out that I didn't eat my own it's normal.


  12. I'm totally feeling you here. I'm pretty sure I just ate my way out of the 120s today.

    What a depressing thought.

    The Topa...I...It's so ...Ugh. I want so badly to be myself, and so I all but stop taking it. But then I fucking eat like there's no tonight, no tomorrow, no world, no forever. No anything. I just eat until it hurts and I remember why I started taking the damn pills in the first place. Because bingeing makes me feel more fail and more depressed than anything...So I took 75 mg today.

    I don't know if that was a mistake or not. This binge (didn't count the cals, but I'm guessing it was over 1,500) will be out of me by the morning, thanks to the laxies, but...I'm almost positive that I'll have gained because of it.

    Goodbye, 129. I hope to see you again...I'm not sure if I will.

    Lurve you.

  13. Yeah, I totally prefer the slimfast bars over the special k bars because they're cheaper, fill you up more, have less calroies, and have better flavors. You should try em out!

    Don't feel so bad about eating. You still fasted for a couple days, which is very hard, and lost lots of weight. Just try not to give into the temptation of evil food!

  14. oh.
    i hate it when this happens.

  15. oh, i meant to ask earlier but forgot and it just hit me: u live in paris? that's awesome!! i love it there!! everyone's so tiny that it makes u feel like u want to be one of them. where i am, haha, not so much. /xo

  16. hi
    i hope the laxie hell will bring you some loss
    actually i just realized thet you are same height as i ma and we also have the same goal weight.
    anyways hope you ar doing great


  17. Ooh come ooooooooooon you did not lose 8 lbs in 3 days. That is not possible.
    Is it? Oh fuck. Don’t be jealous, don’t be jealous … fuck. Wow. Congratuwelldone!! How did you do it? Ah wait, I know, you didn’t eat. Fuck. You are seriously amazing. I’ve not fasted for 3 days for … years. How. Okay, you’re still on Topa, you cheat.
    okay but you ate veggie burgers after that … that’s weird. I only know the McDonalds veggie burgers and could never ever eat 3 of them. Simply because they taste like shit. Even without Topa … next time you’re having veggie burgers with your friends think about those McFat veggie burgers okay?
    Hope you did send them to hell. :) Love you!

  18. you make me smile even through your fails

    sorry about the fail, but thanks for making me giggle

  19. Hahaha you write the best blog posts....but I am really sorry that you gained some weight, but it could be worse you know. You did a hell of a job on the last fast. Last potluck I went to was a vegan/vegetarian one, I was like a fat kid in a candy store.

  20. I so love your posts. Have fun in the loo. :)

    I'm in social psych, so it's mostly common-sensical stuff. Plus the tests are 30 multiple choice and 5 short answers and super easy. As long as you go to class, you don't have to study at all. She goes over every concept 3 times. Boring as hell, but easy A.


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