Tuesday, February 23, 2010

You nosy people

Ok, in response the they myriad of emails I have been recieving.  Most of the questions were the same (do I smell a conspiracy?)
Many have stated that, other than the random thoughts I toss out there, I do not delve into who I am personally.
So... here goes. *deep breath*

1. Yes, you are correct, I am anywhere between 80 and 800 pounds. Good guess!
2. No, I do not live with my parents. I did live alone until recently, when my sister moved in with me. She was getting into trouble, and since I was the "bad seed" as a teen, they figured I'd know what to do with her.
3. Yes, I do have an ED. At least by my definition. I have never been diagnosed. I bounce between starving and binging. Lately the latter. I used to purge as a teen. Now, I only do it intentionally when I am drunk and don't wanna be hungover in the morning.
4. Yes, I am straight. No, I do not have a boyfriend. No, I am not a man-hater, I just think men are stupid.
5. Yes, I am demented. Luckily they make meds for that. Uh, anxiety mostly... love my "chill pills".

Ummmm, that is all I can think of right now. Thanks for taking an interest in me. I know I am vague when it comes to my weight. But I am terrified of my scale. It has not been friendly to me lately. I plan on going binge-free for atleast a month before I step on it again. And I promise to divulge my stats to you then.

I love all the comments I get. You guys are awesome! This has become such a safe haven for me. I have spent my entire life feeling so ashamed of my extreme lack of control and obsession over food, it is a relief to have a place where I do not have to hide it. That is probably why I am so playful. I don't have take myself so seriously.

Many xoxo's zen

Dang, I tried very hard to be serious, but I still cannot fight my compulshion to put a silly picture on here... so deal with it!

heheheh, what the hell makes some of you think I'm a man-hater?


  1. recently started reading your blog. nice to know im not the only one struggling with those crazy "habits" derived from a very strained relationship with food. you're putting all my inner thoughs into words which makes it a lot easier to deal with.

    well..just wanted to thank youuuu
    take care! t

  2. lol loved that picture.
    well, its nice to learn more about you. i completely agree with your comment on men being stupid. hell who needs them, all i need in life is coffee and a certain battery powered friend and im set for life!
    stay strong

  3. Yey, someone who shares my love of pixar kids films! For the Birds is funny and cute too, thanks for the link :) I love Wall-E nd Up as the longer films...they are adorable!

    Oh and I find being demented a rather good state to inhabit...better than being normal away :P

    *hugs* x

  4. Its ok that you don't want to post your weight. Or your picture or whatever else! The point is this place is supposed to make us feel safe. A place where we can talk openly about our struggles to those who understand some of the things we go through. This is our support group. When you're ready to tell us your stats, well be here to listen!

  5. haha u do seem to get a lot of nosy people around u! good stuff - means people like u :) but at least they are not face-to-face nosy, it's only online. i have some hell of a nosy group of people poking into my private life. eh hem, ex. my ever-baking housemates who'll not know what to do with their lives if i blow up the oven.

    demented huh? haha that's so me. i gave up acting normal. but i think that's ok, as long as ur thin and beautiful outside.. who cares if ur inside is messed up? well, i'm shallow, so don't take me seriously. it's only my view, so u shouldn't really put any thoughts into what i say lol. /xo

  6. :D
    your comment cracked me up!

    man hater? hm .... dont think so and i read your blog in one go so i guess i shouldnt have missed some bad man hating remarks :D

    oooookay i think you need to get laid. ha!
    hey, maybe we should cross that tiny lake, USA's calling, stalk Bert, rape him.
    sounds like a riot, eh?

    love that picture, too!

  7. Hahaha!! Yeah, my vibrator could really use a break!

  8. somewhere between 80 & 800lbs?!? sounds like a dreamy weight range...I'm so jealous :)

    I don't understand why anyone feels the need to pressure you to post anything - this is your blog, your world, you keep running it the way you see fit!


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