Fizzy bite... My ass!

The last couple days I have eaten 3 - 4 very fatty meals. That is a lot compared to my one meal per day plan. Am feeling an uncomfortable load in my gut. My fingers and face were puffy this morning. I literally expected to look emaciated after losing half my body weight in diarrhea.

Yesterday was the worst. We had been doing some vigorous shopping and I actually ordered a COKE. I really really really miss the fizzy bite that it has. And although Topamax makes everything taste weird, it focuses the bulk of its anti-food power on soda. But still, I thought, just maybe, maaaaybe it would taste good just one more time. Pretty please?!

Nope... dirt.

Someone rinsed their ass, added some dirt, then poured it into my cup. 

In order to salvage the remnants of my sanity.... *snort* who the fuck am I trying to fool? I am not going to weigh myself until Saturday. That gives me a few days to get back on track. 

The last time I weighed in, I was one pound away from my next goal. ONE pound. Sometimes I wonder if it is self sabotage. So close. Oh shit, tomorrow is girls night out. That means alcohol. Moan. I like alcohol. Maybe I'll enjoy it even more on an empty stomach? >evil smile<.

Some-fricken-how, the last time I had a cheat meal, I still lost 3lbs! This has been two days worth of cheat meals, so I am certainly not expecting that sort of miracle. I'm really just hoping not to see any depressing weight gain. I guess even that would still be considered a miracle, eh?

Much luvs to you girlies.

xoxo zen