Saturday, March 06, 2010


I spent the day driving around, marveling about how good, different, mellow I feel. Imagining all my favorite foods, stunned that I didn't have the slightest interest in eating anything.
I went out to dinner with my friends tonight, but still, the thought of food just seemed blehhh.
Food tastes like ass. Everything I tried to eat literally tastes like dirt.
Ordered a Heineken, ick, dirt, gave it to my friend. Ordered a veggie burger, ick, the bbq sauce tasted like dirt, gave it to my other friend. Had a couple fries, the salt was yummy, but my tummy felt icky, so I downed my water and was finished with my meal. Don't know my tally for the day, but it is safe to say it was under 100 cal.

Unfortunately everything seems blehhh to me (not just food). I feel like a ZOMBIE. 
That is probably the reason why you are supposed to build your way up in dosage of Topamax as Poppy mentioned. My Dr already has me taking 200mg daily. arrrrgh brains.
Oh well. skinnie-zombie is better than ravenous-fattie.

xoxo zen


  1. Hey! That's excellent that you were under 100 cal!! Your experience with Topamax is so different to mine; I can't believe your doctor let you go on a high dose straight away. I read the leaflet yesterday and there's all these warnings about building up in dosage etc etc. Hopefully you'll adjust to the zombie feeling though. I was on some other tablets from December to February that made me like a zombie to begin with but it got a bit better with time :) x x

  2. LOL WAY better than ravenous fattie!!


  3. ha funny pic that so fits what ur talking about. wow, that's great that u could just pass on ur dinner to ur friends! my friends will give me evil stares until i down them. and one more vote to skinny zombie! hell, like i care about being emotionless when i can be skinny! go you /xo

  4. I know the feeling well, I eat ALOT for like three days and then food just tastes like dirt on the fourth, anf fifth and maybe even the sixth but then I am back to eating eating eating. skinny... aw a nice dream.

  5. Thank you for your comment, means the world to me. I'd take that hug, in an equally non-creepy way. ;)

    Ever since your last post I've been re-researching Topamax. I'd wanted it pretty badly a while back, but when I realized I probably couldn't get my university shrink to prescribe it to me (she knows too much about my ED issues) I kind of gave up. Now I'm all intrigued again...dang it. I want to order it from this one site online, but I'm reasonably apprehensive because...well, it's expensive and it's some nameless internet thing. Duh. :P

    Some of my antidepressants in the past have given me zombie days...but I'm wondering if this would be worth it? To not want not want to binge? No more C&Sing?'s become my undoing. I've missed so much class, spent so much money on food, just to spend time chewing and spitting. *sigh...*

    Love you back. ;)


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